没错 考试是要到了
没错 这是一场重要性极高的考试
没错 这次的风险极高
没错 我现在是应该利用写blog的时间去读书
你们都没错
我已经坐在那张椅子超过n小时了
我想发发泄
我想过了 尽力就好
就算speaking那不到理想的级别
就算pspm拿不到想要的
那我就不必勉强自己去争取我不是很想要的职业
到时候 我倒可以追求我的初衷
轻轻松松当个老师
当个作家
过属于我的生活
这样想也许接下来的日子会好过一点
2013年10月14日星期一
2013年9月14日星期六
Precious experience
It comes to the second week of September. It is just damn fast.
The life in kmpk is not as easy as I think before.
A lot of things to do, to think...
A lot of feelings to keep, to express, to dump...
First, again, is about my result,
It is the main source for me to feel unhappy all these days
Yea of course I promise myself to perform well in pspm
But it even makes me more stressed
Because once I fail to score again in pspm..everything is gone..!!!
I sometimes wonder why studying becomes so difficult for me?
It is once quite easy for me to handle.. Why and where is the problem?
Secondly, friends...
In kmpk, I gain some friends and lost some friends at the same time
We once were very close friends.
But just look at us now..
Our distance is getting farther and farther
I dare not to imagine how will our relationship be in the next few months
I not even know how to get us close again
I simply afraid of everything
U all said I have changed..
I really dunno how to change back...
Thirdly, the happiest thing ever; EXPERIENCE !!!
U know what
In order to get koko mark
I try something that I never ever done before..
First is Ipoh run, I never ever wake up at 230am just to participate in Ipoh run!!
However I did this several months before
Second is ambang performance
Since primary school
I not ever dare to dance or sing on the stage
I feel shy to do that
But then in this year
I have done it unbelievable right? Haha
Third, is kakom sukarelawan.
Jasmine, Bridget, joe, and I were in charge of netball match
My task is to be a time keeper
My first time experience..woohoo..
Initially I have butterflies in my stomach..
But then everything is okay already...
It is time to complete my homework...bye
The life in kmpk is not as easy as I think before.
A lot of things to do, to think...
A lot of feelings to keep, to express, to dump...
First, again, is about my result,
It is the main source for me to feel unhappy all these days
Yea of course I promise myself to perform well in pspm
But it even makes me more stressed
Because once I fail to score again in pspm..everything is gone..!!!
I sometimes wonder why studying becomes so difficult for me?
It is once quite easy for me to handle.. Why and where is the problem?
Secondly, friends...
In kmpk, I gain some friends and lost some friends at the same time
We once were very close friends.
But just look at us now..
Our distance is getting farther and farther
I dare not to imagine how will our relationship be in the next few months
I not even know how to get us close again
I simply afraid of everything
U all said I have changed..
I really dunno how to change back...
Thirdly, the happiest thing ever; EXPERIENCE !!!
U know what
In order to get koko mark
I try something that I never ever done before..
First is Ipoh run, I never ever wake up at 230am just to participate in Ipoh run!!
However I did this several months before
Second is ambang performance
Since primary school
I not ever dare to dance or sing on the stage
I feel shy to do that
But then in this year
I have done it unbelievable right? Haha
Third, is kakom sukarelawan.
Jasmine, Bridget, joe, and I were in charge of netball match
My task is to be a time keeper
My first time experience..woohoo..
Initially I have butterflies in my stomach..
But then everything is okay already...
It is time to complete my homework...bye
2013年8月23日星期五
may God bless me
I feel sad. Too sad. Extremely sad.
Frustrated. Disappointed.
How? Why? Keep rushing into my mind.
Yea I m scared, worried about what I have done in ups. I cant believe I fail to score each subject. What really happens to me? Why? This result of ups is included in my final pointer. But 10%. Someone say that it wont affect much. But u know me right, im that kind of person who depends on academic for survival since primary school. My ranking is no1 from standard 1 to standard 6. From form 1 to form 3 , my ranking is between 1 to 5. Everything changes since form 4. My ranking drops to between 6 to 15. Im mentally hurt. I work harder. But still, to no avail. But fortunately I still gt 10As in spm but then not straight A+. Feeling a little bit disappointed, I feel thankful too. Perhaps, this is my actual standard of study for those 2 years. I accept it. Now it comes to the turn of matriculation result. No ranking. But grades. Initially im confident to get good result. I revise n exercise quite a lot for that week of raya holidays.
But why??
I fail
Although result is still not known I guess I will get Bs for chem, math n physics. That is not the result a chinese student in matriks supposed to have. Perhaps im not a chinese? (I know this is not the time of joking) im serious in writing this piece of blog.
I feel regret to disappoint my mum my lecturer or even some of my friends. My feeling now is actually beyond description. It is extremely complicated. I thought I have done my best . But it seems not. What am I going to do next? How am I going to face those friends who are better than me? Should I continue to play around with them? Im totally out of idea right now.
I know I should have some more strategies to boost improvement in pspm. But then 24hours r not enough at all!!
I am very depressed to see someone who revise less than me can achieve better than me. It seems unfair right? Anyway I know I have many mistakes too in the ways of study. I really hope that I could stand up again with confidence, defeating every challenge throughout my matriculation life. May God bless me.
Frustrated. Disappointed.
How? Why? Keep rushing into my mind.
Yea I m scared, worried about what I have done in ups. I cant believe I fail to score each subject. What really happens to me? Why? This result of ups is included in my final pointer. But 10%. Someone say that it wont affect much. But u know me right, im that kind of person who depends on academic for survival since primary school. My ranking is no1 from standard 1 to standard 6. From form 1 to form 3 , my ranking is between 1 to 5. Everything changes since form 4. My ranking drops to between 6 to 15. Im mentally hurt. I work harder. But still, to no avail. But fortunately I still gt 10As in spm but then not straight A+. Feeling a little bit disappointed, I feel thankful too. Perhaps, this is my actual standard of study for those 2 years. I accept it. Now it comes to the turn of matriculation result. No ranking. But grades. Initially im confident to get good result. I revise n exercise quite a lot for that week of raya holidays.
But why??
I fail
Although result is still not known I guess I will get Bs for chem, math n physics. That is not the result a chinese student in matriks supposed to have. Perhaps im not a chinese? (I know this is not the time of joking) im serious in writing this piece of blog.
I feel regret to disappoint my mum my lecturer or even some of my friends. My feeling now is actually beyond description. It is extremely complicated. I thought I have done my best . But it seems not. What am I going to do next? How am I going to face those friends who are better than me? Should I continue to play around with them? Im totally out of idea right now.
I know I should have some more strategies to boost improvement in pspm. But then 24hours r not enough at all!!
I am very depressed to see someone who revise less than me can achieve better than me. It seems unfair right? Anyway I know I have many mistakes too in the ways of study. I really hope that I could stand up again with confidence, defeating every challenge throughout my matriculation life. May God bless me.
2013年3月28日星期四
我真的很幸运
这个星期日要到一个完全陌生的世界去生活，两三个月
心中有挣扎，有不安，有惶恐
我只是想趁这个机会谢谢你们
毕业了过后，还处处维护着我们的友情
我只能说，我真的很幸运，
从小到大，只有你们这班朋友为我庆祝过生日，
前年，去年和今年，你们都给我不一样的惊喜
我要谢谢man ee,shenrong,xhun,还记得前年我的生日刚好是一
我真的没有想到你们会为我安排，让全体member为我唱生日歌
还当众送我礼物，
我被感动了！
接下来是去年，也是由你们这班朋友给我惊喜，
尤其是 shen rong, 打电话跟我说老师有什么重要的文件要给我，
我那时真的信以为真了
结果回到家你们捧着生日蛋糕，为我唱歌的时候，
我被感动了！
再来是今年，我们依旧聚在一起唱歌，
然后man ee 突然拿出那个bag时，
我被感动了！
还有这几年来，yean ting 亲手做的小礼物，
也常常让我倍感窝心。
其实我感动的，莫非是你们对我们友情的用心，
不管你们送的是什么也一样。
那颗真心才是我收到最佳的礼物。
我课业上的问题，
也多亏有ah ting ,man ee,sinee的拔刀相助
也很怀念以前 sinnee离开前，
只要心中一有不愉快，
就会向我吐苦水的日子。
怀念那段我们什么都可以聊得日子，
聊学业，聊未来，聊宠物，聊感情，聊家事
再来就是ah xhun,感谢你的无私，
你是第一个住我家的朋友，
我相信这就是缘分。
那一天我们拥有的笑声，
我们对彼此的关心，
已经为我们的友情加分不少！
manee,一个常会emo的好朋友，
你真的帮我不少。善解人意，聪明伶俐，
我有你一半的聪明那该有多好。有时还真有一点小妒忌。哈哈
未来总有一条属于我们的路
我们一定会找到属于自己的路
不要担心害怕 一切顺其自然 好吗？
shen rong，是我最愧对的一个朋友
以前在图书馆的日子，是我毕生最不可能忘记的日子
那段日子我们是怎样熬过来的
旁人是没办法体会的
你对我的包容和体恤，
是几百句谢谢都没办法回报的。。
然而我却会频频作出不符合你心意的事，
有时还叫你失望了。
不管怎样，我们的友谊是永恒的对吗？
我只是觉得，
这一生能拥有你们，我还奢求什么？
（我知道依我的性格，是很少这样感性的。。哈哈）
可是有些话有机会的时候一定要说出来，才不会留下遗憾
我在kulim 的几个月里如果真的很辛苦的时候
我相信只要想起你们的笑容，我也可以咬着牙根唉过去
未来的日子，不管是当兵，还是升学，还是未来的每一个步骤
不管是成功或失败
我都会知道，我从不失去过什么。
有你们，我一直都这样幸运！
心中有挣扎，有不安，有惶恐
我只是想趁这个机会谢谢你们
毕业了过后，还处处维护着我们的友情
我只能说，我真的很幸运，
从小到大，只有你们这班朋友为我庆祝过生日，
前年，去年和今年，你们都给我不一样的惊喜
我要谢谢man ee,shenrong,xhun,还记得前年我的生日刚好是一
我真的没有想到你们会为我安排，让全体member为我唱生日歌
还当众送我礼物，
我被感动了！
接下来是去年，也是由你们这班朋友给我惊喜，
尤其是 shen rong, 打电话跟我说老师有什么重要的文件要给我，
我那时真的信以为真了
结果回到家你们捧着生日蛋糕，为我唱歌的时候，
我被感动了！
再来是今年，我们依旧聚在一起唱歌，
然后man ee 突然拿出那个bag时，
我被感动了！
还有这几年来，yean ting 亲手做的小礼物，
也常常让我倍感窝心。
其实我感动的，莫非是你们对我们友情的用心，
不管你们送的是什么也一样。
那颗真心才是我收到最佳的礼物。
我课业上的问题，
也多亏有ah ting ,man ee,sinee的拔刀相助
也很怀念以前 sinnee离开前，
只要心中一有不愉快，
就会向我吐苦水的日子。
怀念那段我们什么都可以聊得日子，
聊学业，聊未来，聊宠物，聊感情，聊家事
再来就是ah xhun,感谢你的无私，
你是第一个住我家的朋友，
我相信这就是缘分。
那一天我们拥有的笑声，
我们对彼此的关心，
已经为我们的友情加分不少！
manee,一个常会emo的好朋友，
你真的帮我不少。善解人意，聪明伶俐，
我有你一半的聪明那该有多好。有时还真有一点小妒忌。哈哈
未来总有一条属于我们的路
我们一定会找到属于自己的路
不要担心害怕 一切顺其自然 好吗？
shen rong，是我最愧对的一个朋友
以前在图书馆的日子，是我毕生最不可能忘记的日子
那段日子我们是怎样熬过来的
旁人是没办法体会的
你对我的包容和体恤，
是几百句谢谢都没办法回报的。。
然而我却会频频作出不符合你心意的事，
有时还叫你失望了。
不管怎样，我们的友谊是永恒的对吗？
我只是觉得，
这一生能拥有你们，我还奢求什么？
（我知道依我的性格，是很少这样感性的。。哈哈）
可是有些话有机会的时候一定要说出来，才不会留下遗憾
我在kulim 的几个月里如果真的很辛苦的时候
我相信只要想起你们的笑容，我也可以咬着牙根唉过去
未来的日子，不管是当兵，还是升学，还是未来的每一个步骤
不管是成功或失败
我都会知道，我从不失去过什么。
有你们，我一直都这样幸运！
2013年2月23日星期六
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